REJECTION

When the word rejection comes to mind all I think of is NO, I mean it is a no after all. The dictionary definition of rejection is the dismissal or refusal of proposals, ideas, applications etc. In all fairness, I mean who in their right mind would want to be rejected in any way, Nobody! But the hard truth is rejection is real and we can’t run away from it but best learn to process it. So I was thinking and kind of realised that if the size of our immediate social circle was small rejection would be limited right? Because I feel like nowadays due to the media, internet one is connected to a whole bunch of people thus risk of rejection is plenty plus. Though at the same time, isn’t rejection good to some extent?

To be honest, rejection is painful. It hurts so bad sometimes for some people continuous rejection results in depression and a whole lot of emotional stresses. According to Guy Winch, psychologists stated that, ‘The greatest damage rejection causes is usually self -inflicted. Just when one’s self-esteem is hurting, they go and damage it even further.’ Just giving an example most would relate to: you know very well that you asked this certain girl out on a date not once but maybe thrice and she said no, but you keep going back, that’s clearly self-inflicted hurt. Funny thing one continues trying their luck. We experience this because human brains are wired to respond that way. Apparently the pain felt when rejected is the same as physical pain and that is why even the slightest rejection still hurts more than expected since it elicits literal pain.

I have realised there are different ways of rejection; I mean I didn’t know myself. So for starters, there is unspoken rejection and this is just being ignored. I mean one would pour their heart in their personal life or professional life but nothing. No response whatsoever thus you wonder isn’t being told no or you not qualified even better than being ignored. I mean a flat no is still rejection, though better than being ignored but still stings. In most cases, people with low self-esteem suffer rejection deeply and take longer to get over it. Therefore, it is important to build one’s confidence and self-esteem. When you get a no, it’s not the end of the world, rather step back assess, see where you went wrong, identify your weaknesses and attempt again. One cannot know they are pushing their limits if not rejected once in a while. It means you are getting yourself out there, trying and not being too comfortable where you are originally, eventually you will be accepted.

Then there is that rejection that comes with suggestions for improvement. It’s more or less like polite rejection. Let’s say you applied for a certain position at a company, and in their response they note why you didn’t make it, further explain how you can improve for better chances in the future. I mean, let’s be honest, it still stings that you didn’t get the position then but looking at it, in another angle you got to know where and what your weaknesses are.

Basically I am saying, rejection is either good or bad depending on how you decide to look at it. If you let it define you and wallow in it, you will definitely drown.  Acknowledge the emotions rather than convincing yourself that it is no big deal and most importantly one shouldn’t let other people’s opinions define them, after all you are you and your life is yours not someone else’s. If you take rejection in some instances as a positive, it will assist you fix your negatives.