Friday, 27 October 2017


The hand picks what it loves and favors. When you are hand-picked it could be that you are loved and favored. Favor also encompasses separation from the rest, because it removes you from your comfort zone and sets a clear difference between you and those you are on the same level with. 

Let’s take an example of a beautiful flower. It is the most beautiful and outstanding amongst many other flowers but because it finds favor with its owner it is handpicked and plucked out from the rest of its kind. This is both wonderful and painful at the same time because that is what being unique comes with, you become separated from the rest. But this handpicking, in as much as it is painful it comes with so much positive benefits. Your uniqueness attracts great things and opportunities and as that beautiful flower you create another new breed of unique flowers like you, hence God handpicked you because you found favor in His sight. 

In my own personal experience of being handpicked, came the joy of realising that I am unique and different from others. When His hand is upon me, what more would I ask for. However, as one begins to rise out of that basket, you suddenly begin to feel the separation. In that moment of separation, comes rejection as no one reaches to you often, and few may understand why you are in that place that you have being selected to be in. So questions start arising within you, asking yourself what’s wrong with everything, why am i alone? You take a good look at the man in the mirror and realise not only are you talented and good looking, you don't seem to have anyone around you cheering you on?

When the Lord's hand is upon you and He places you in that position He handpicked you, there comes a sense of belonging. Like a flower picked and placed before an audience that is captured by who you have become, everything begins to make sense. You begin to understand those moments of separation and rejection from your own kind. 

If you have a special purpose, expect these kinds of moments. All great men and women who have ever achieved great things in order for them to be outstanding had to stop following the crowd to follow their passions. If they kept following the crowd they might have been discouraged about their vision. This is why being handpicked is important, it separates you from the rest and prepares you for your special purpose.

Tuesday, 17 October 2017

Beautiful Scars 2 : Pink October

                                    Everyone Vs Cancer (pink gloves concept) credits: @ProphecyOfficial

At some point in our lives we acquired scars through different ways and of course we would look at them and say they making our bodies look ugly. These scars can serve as a reminder of what we went through and endured in order to overcome a certain situation. But here is the thing, if we look at those scars and what they represent we would see that they are beautiful. It might be an operation of you giving birth and yes, you got a scar from it but you gained a beautiful little someone.
As we all know October is pink month and we get to stand in solidarity with everyone in the world affected by breast cancer and those who overcame the fight and also honour those who were taken from us, for they fought a good fight. Cancer is a very deadly and cruel disease and fighting the battle is a difficult journey but it can be overcome and won. In the process of fighting cancer, physical and emotional scars are acquired.
Today I want to talk about the beauty of breast cancer scars. To everyone who was affected by breast cancer out there, let your scars be a reminder that you fought and won a battle and behind those scars you call ugly is a beautiful and strong person made in the image of God. Wear them with pride knowing that you beat cancer, tell your story and let those scars be an encouragement to someone going through what you went through and assure them that it is possible to come out of it. Be their heroes and never be ashamed of those scars for they represent a beautiful story. There is beauty in everything and hardships and pain always lead to something beautiful.
To all those who are affected with breast cancer and fighting this battle, I want to encourage you to never give up, don't stop fighting. After the battle is won everything will be beautiful and you will wear your scars with so much pride and look at them and say Yes I Did it, Yes I Beat cancer.

As Alessa Cara sang "There is a hope that's waiting for you in the dark, you should know you are beautiful just the way you are. You don't have to change a thing, the world can change its heart. No scars to your beautiful, we stars and we are beautiful."

She maintains her smile, and gathers around with others in celebration yet she bears a scar on the inside. This wonderful character combined with the physical scar is what I call a beautiful scar. At times the thought wakes up to greet her early in the morning to remind her of the burden she carries, but she will bath, dress good, put on her make up 

and perfume, walk out with confidence ignoring the tormenting thoughts that want her to lose confidence. Ladies and gentlemen that is what I call a beautiful scar.

The beauty of the scar is seen by how one handles the burden they are forced to carry. They have learnt to carry burdens with joy, like a pregnant woman with twins, she has so much excitement. This is what I respect about these heroes, so let’s stand behind them as they fight this burden to overcome, because with God nothing is impossible (Luke 1:37)

Therefore, as we commemorate Pink October, let us support each other and make a stand that we will never give up, that breast cancer will not take more of our beloved ones. Let us all go for mammograms so we prevent loss of more lives and support and encourage those who are fighting for their lives and honor those who were taken from us. 

Friday, 13 October 2017

Self Love

What's the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word self-love? Is it “taking selfies”? Is it about being selfish, pompous, and self-centered? NO! Self-love is the ability to accept who you are, what you are, what you have and how you look. Self-love is about feeling comfortable in your own skin and not to try and change yourself to suit other people's opinions or to gain acceptance in the society or from friends and colleagues. It is important to living well because it influences decision making processes e.g. choosing a mate, problem solving and how one carries and expresses themselves. Trying to fit in, to be something one is not always comes with so much emotional effects. I believe when one truly and deeply loves themselves there is no stress. No stress why you want to lose weight or gain it, no stress why the next person has this and that and you don’t.

I wouldn't want to lie and say I deeply understood what self-love is. Before, I also would worry about what people think of me, and would let their criticism get to me. People would say you too slim, you too tiny, you too young but now, to me that sounds like a broken record. I wouldn't care less because I am comfortable with who I am, what I want and my purpose and I wouldn't change it for anyone because it  is MINE after all. I also grew up seeking approval from friends and family and realized that made me not be myself in a way and added to my emotional struggles. Thoughts running through my head would be: "Am I not good enough?" What did I even do wrong? If I do this would they still like me? But because I took time to find myself I now understand what self-love is. The moment you do, trust me you will always feel content. You can't buy self-love or be made to love yourself more by other people but you grow in self-love.

Self-love involves a number of aspects that one has to embody to fully enjoy its benefits. By expanding self-love one begins to accept and understand better their strength and weaknesses and grow to love and be compassionate to themselves and others and even have less need to explain their shortcomings.
We all have to be mindful of what we think or feel and want and not base it on what others want. You cannot please everybody in this world thus whatever you do has to also make you happy. Your life's decisions have to be yours and not contaminated by what your best friend thinks or want or even family especially if it will negatively affect you in the long run. I am not saying one shouldn't be given advice or be rebellious. All I'm saying is after the advice, the decision is yours. l also believe  that to grow in self-love, we have to resist going after things that excite us for a moment but rather focus on growing and expanding our lives and move away from the probability of making past mistakes that would hurt us again.

Yes we have to be mindful of what we want and feel to grow in self-love but that's not the only thing. Self-love also is about self-care and health. This encompasses nutrition, hygiene, health and proper sleep. I am slim but I actually do exercise, like a proper work out. I mean who said exercises are for those who want to lose weight only? I exercise because I love my health and need to keep fit and make sure my body is toned and blood circulation is perfect. I make sure everything around me is in great condition and that my environment is clean, that's the definition of self-love.

However I say to myself yes my hygiene is on point is that all? What’s left? That's when I realized also that for me also to truly grow in self-love, I need to set boundaries in terms of protecting myself from anything that can harm me emotionally, physically and spiritually. I began to associate myself with the right people and building healthy relationships. People who lifted me up, encouraged me, helped me to grow and didn't look down on me or laugh at my losses. I did also cut ties with a number of friends and realized as you grow older, the fewer friends you get. I allowed myself to have healthy relationships only and in the process protect myself. The good thing also in the process I did gain a few extra healthy relationships with amazing and wonderful people.

As I walked the journey of finding myself, I realized that I was too hard on myself. I used to beat myself up if things were not going well or if I made mistakes. But the other good thing about self-love is forgiving yourself. We all make mistakes, we are human and all we need to do is learn, grow and move on. The moment you forgive yourself, you identify your purpose and goals. If your intention is to live a healthy life, travel the world, do charity work, do just that and you will see that you will even love yourself more when you succeed and achieve your goals and intentions. One of my life's intentions is charity work and I do that through "knit a hat" and trust me, I am proud of myself and love myself more and the love for others even grows each and every day.

Self-Love is not selfishness, this kind of love keeps me alive here on earth, because if I have no love for myself it means I live anyhow, do anything, get involved in anything whether it hurts me or not. In a way to love yourself is protecting your life, if I do not then who will? If I do not spoil myself with the nice food and clothes who will? Of course I am not putting God and friends out of the equation, but friends may not be able to go the extra mile to satisfy my needs, that’s when God and self-love is key.
So learn to fully appreciate who you are, and give yourself the best treatment and compliments that people will hold back from you, encourage yourself to be the best always in all things.

Friday, 6 October 2017


When you hear the word dating, what is the first thing you think of?  Life partner, window shopping, fun and games? This is an interesting, broad and also controversial subject in a sense. In fact most emotionally related problems that affect young people, like depression, rejection, and low self-esteem come in relation with dating.

We all want to be loved and given attention, and these desires snare us to get into relationships, but some people get so caught up with the need to be loved that it blind folds them to see clearly when dating. Then some people face heart aches after heart aches and this has chiseled them to become experts in guarding their hearts from yet another heart break. Although there is a tendency of over mastering this art to the point that they become manipulators to the other partner in the relationship in order to protect their interests.

At times the person we like, is not the one who likes us back, but we may later discover that, after giving them a chance that this person is the one we never want to let go. And the opposite is true, the person you thought you liked, you may later realise it was just infatuation. So many dynamics with dating right! Hence the need to get to know someone first  before you get into a relationship with them.

Some theories on dating suggest that it is a time where you get know the other person and see if you are compatible or not and if you are not, you move along. The theory suggests that one can have more than one date at the same time since no physical emotions are involved and it should normally not take a long time to decide on compatibility. Again this is debatable too for some, because of societal and cultural perceptions thus it is believed that one should be committed to only one partner whilst dating just as in marriage and if you entertain another partner whilst dating someone else it is as good as cheating and might even cloud your judgement by comparing the two.

What does God have to say about finding a partner in the Bible? Let’s look at (Isaiah 34:16) “Seek ye out of the book of the LORD, and read: no one of these shall fail, none shall want her mate: for my mouth it hath commanded, and his spirit it hath gathered them.” Amen.
The Lord who created Adam and Eve, the first couple says in His word in Isaiah 34:16 that, all will have their mate and His Spirit will bring them together. But for this to happen, one has to be totally surrendered to God, and His Spirit so that it brings them together with the right mate. God designed us differently and He knows how we function, and what we need to function well. So with that knowledge He then uses it to connect you with the perfect partner if you are willing to let His Spirit link and lead you, for He says, He has commanded that all shall have a mate not one will lack, which means there is a perfect match out there for you and the Lord will  connect you with them as  long as you let Him.

As I mentioned this is a long broad topic and can be discussed about from different angles, but we will probably get into that some other day. Today's article is just a brush on the surface, on what dating is according to different thoughts but we will definitely go deeper next time. I also open up to the readers to type their questions and contributions about their view on dating in the comments section below and I will tackle them and present on this blog